John Gardner Thinks You're a No-Talent Writer. This Month, the Smackdown Offers all Comers the Chance to Prove Him Right

This, oh loyal Smackdowners, is the late John Gardner. He's most famous for writing the short novel, Grendel. I've read lots of stories about the guy, and in those stories he comes off like an idealistic maverick, an inconoclast, and even a little bit of an asshole. But his posturing was authentic -- he was no poseur, no James Frey tough-guy writer wannabe, he was the real deal. This guy could write, and, more than that, he took the art of fiction writing as seriously as anyone you've ever heard of, or will ever hear of. He's still considered, even these many years after his death (he died in 1982), the preeminent authority on the art of fiction writing in most creative writing programs in this country. Or so I've heard.

The reason I bring him up is this: the Smackdown's long-awaited March story-starter (or in this case, prose starter), is an exercise from Gardner's seminal book, The Art of Fiction. Here goes:

"Describe a lake as seen by a young man who has just committed murder. Do not mention the murder."

Commence writing!