John Gardner Thinks You're a No-Talent Writer. This Month, the Smackdown Offers all Comers the Chance to Prove Him Right
This, oh loyal Smackdowners, is the late John Gardner. He's most famous for writing the short novel, Grendel. I've read lots of stories about the guy, and in those stories he comes off like an idealistic maverick, an inconoclast, and even a little bit of an asshole. But his posturing was authentic -- he was no poseur, no James Frey tough-guy writer wannabe, he was the real deal. This guy could write, and, more than that, he took the art of fiction writing as seriously as anyone you've ever heard of, or will ever hear of. He's still considered, even these many years after his death (he died in 1982), the preeminent authority on the art of fiction writing in most creative writing programs in this country. Or so I've heard.The reason I bring him up is this: the Smackdown's long-awaited March story-starter (or in this case, prose starter), is an exercise from Gardner's seminal book, The Art of Fiction. Here goes:
"Describe a lake as seen by a young man who has just committed murder. Do not mention the murder."
Commence writing!
posted by Miller Sturtevant | 9:48 PM
11 Comments:
Swans Eat Poo, By Heath C. Michaels Esquire The Third
Look at that fucking lake. That water ripples like that chick I cannot talk about killing. That shit is wet like the blood I cannot talk about that spilled from the knife wound I cannot describe. Woe is me, the killer that I may not be because I am not allowed to say that I am.
Wait! What is that? Did a swan just poo in the lake? He did! He pooed in the lake! Holy Jesus! And look, it's floating like the corpse I have no recollection of. What... wait... what is he doing?
Holy Majoly, that dirty rat is eating his poo, like I did with the entrails of that storekeeper that caught my bullet that I cannot describe because it may not of happened.
Fade out. Poo. And scene!
Nah, seriously, this sounds like a decent challenge. I may have to indulge this time around... for realz!
BTW, I think it's:
"Describe a lake as seen by a young man who has just committed murder. Do not mention the murder."
Just str8 up FYIing it.
It's just an exercise, really, so I'd imagine you can write just about anything as long as it feels right to you. In my opinion, which shouldn't be taken for much, I think where some people would fail is in trying to convey the idea that the man had committed a murder. Why can't it just be a man looking at the lake after he had just committed a murder? Why does it have to artfully demonstrate the murder?
It's just an exercise.
Good call on the "young" aspect of the exercise. I omitted it. It's back in now. My take on the exercise is that it has to be a description of a lake, and only the lake (not just the water but the surrounding environment), without any mention of any aspect of the crime. It has to be about the lake. It's a hard one.
interesting task given.
Nah, I'm not mentioning the lake, ONLY the murder. Makes it so much easier.
Has anyone worked on this yet? I'm nearly too damn busy to write anything, although I did sit down for about an hour the other night and wrote out a one page turd of a story. I think I may just post that one. It's a lot like Swans Eat Poo, but with real, real, realism, you know what I'm saying? Word!
Okay, it's nothing like Swans Eat Poo.
I haven't worked on it yet. I got all month. And you should post the story. Right here in the comments. Yeah.
How the hell could I win? Geee-Zus! That's just pathetic. My story sucked ballz. Whatever.
I say, by default, either you OR Crane should win, Nathan. I remove my story from the running.
Let's call YOU a draw. Draw Hines!
Harwell wants to know why you want a funny picture of Harwell????
Harwell's not sure Harwell likes you're request for more Harwell.
It's not very Harwell. And sounds pretty suspiciouswell.
Hmmwell...
Post a Comment
<< Home